I was listening to a sermon and the preacher emphasized on the need to stop seeking validation. The constant need for approval and how it can paralyze us.
Every decision, from your hairstyle to your career path, seems filtered through the lens of “what will people think?” This fear holds you back from truly living, expressing yourself authentically, and pursuing your dreams.
People will always talk, it’s an unfortunate truth. But what truly matters is living a life guided by your values and trusting in God’s purpose for you. This resonates deeply. This story, my friends, is more common than you think. Many of us struggle with validation seeking, a silent thief that robs us of our potential. The Bible itself warns us about this in Proverbs 29:25 (NIV): “The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.”
Fearing people’s opinions traps us, while trusting in God sets us free.
Think about it: a butterfly trapped in a cocoon, its wings magnificent but unable to take flight. That’s what happens when we prioritize validation over our own happiness. We dim our inner light, our dreams gathering dust, all because we’re scared of a critical comment or a disapproving glance. But the Bible, in Galatians 5:1 (NIV), tells us, “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”
Here’s how to break free from the cycle of validation seeking:
• Identify your triggers: Recognize the situations that make you crave approval. Is it public speaking? Sharing your creative work? Social interactions in general? Once you know your triggers, you can develop coping mechanisms. Maybe it’s practicing your presentation beforehand, limiting your social media browsing, or reminding yourself of your boss’s respect for your work ethic.
• Shift your focus: Instead of constantly seeking external validation, turn inward. What truly excites you? What values do you want to live by? Remember that sermon that sparked a change in me? Focus on doing things that make you happy, not what you think will garner the most approval.
• Embrace imperfection: We’re all human. We’ll make mistakes, say silly things, and maybe even post a regrettable selfie or two (don’t worry, we’ve all been there). But mistakes are stepping stones, not roadblocks. Learn from them, dust yourself off, and keep moving forward. You might even find your clumsiness endearing!
• Celebrate small wins: Acknowledge your progress, no matter how small. Did you wear that bold outfit you were nervous about? Did you participate in that meeting even though your voice trembled a little? These are victories worth celebrating! This builds confidence and fuels your motivation to keep chipping away at the validation monster.
Remember, your worth is not defined by likes, comments, or fleeting opinions. You are fearfully and wonderfully made by God (Psalm 139:14 NIV).
A Prayer for Freedom:
Dear Heavenly Father,
I confess my struggle with seeking validation from others. Help me quiet the noise of external opinions and focus on Your voice. Guide me towards living authentically, pursuing my passions, and fulfilling the purpose You have for me. Empower me to break free from the chains of fear and embrace the freedom to be who You created me to be. Amen.
This journey of self-discovery won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. As you learn to trust yourself and live by your own values, you’ll discover a joy and fulfillment that external validation can never provide. Take the first step today. You’ve got this! And remember, even butterflies with slightly crumpled wings can take flight and soar. The world needs to see your beautiful colors.
